fragmentary biography

Month: February, 2015

On intimacy

People think intimacy is all about sex, but it’s really more about having a mutual plan for the next week’s meals so come Tuesday you won’t kill each other over low blood sugar.

On meeting the parents

“What if they hate me? What if they think I’m ugly and boring?
What if I start sweating heavily and get enormous puddles under my arms?
What if I have poo on my fingers when we shake hands?”
Why would you have poo on your fingers?”
“IT COULD HAPPEN!”

On inspiration

Gone, gone, gone, oh there! … no, gone again.

On the good talk

“So maybe we should talk about what happened today?”
“Why, what happened today?”
“You know, our argument.”
We had an argument?”

On the worrying kind

Apparently the brain is 75% devoted to fear and anxiety and only 25% to lust and joy. So it’s biology’s fault she spent all that time worrying about break ups.

On non-crises

“I don’t have a 30’s crisis, it’s just that I’ve recently
discovered that I suck at everything I do.”