On the ex factor

by Malin's eating

“Dear God, I realize you’ve probably got your hands full with war and famine and HIV and stuff, but I’m trying to deal with otherworldly perfection here so if you could find the time to at the least remove this ginormous pimple of mine it would be much appreciated. Thanks. Amen. PS. Also, please send someone to fix my oven and I  promise to be much more supportive of your business. Amen.”