fragmentary biography

Month: January, 2014

On flaw-bla-bla

It’s the little flaws and cracks that make a person interesting. (Or defected.)

On therapy sessions

There’s the big box of Kleenex for your convenience and of course the fact that you pay a complete stranger by the hour to be your mate. It’s like a brothel for your emotions.

On the ex factor

“Dear God, I realize you’ve probably got your hands full with war and famine and HIV and stuff, but I’m trying to deal with otherworldly perfection here so if you could find the time to at the least remove this ginormous pimple of mine it would be much appreciated. Thanks. Amen. PS. Also, please send someone to fix my oven and I  promise to be much more supportive of your business. Amen.”

On breakdowns

It should be with people like with cars. Just turn the crap in and say “Fix this!”
and then go for a coffee while your shit is taken care of.

On runaways

I think we should call your parents now.”
“Don’t, they’ll be disappointed in me for telling.”
“But I bet they’re worried about you.”
“No, they never noticed I came. Or went. So I think I’ll just go home again.”

On suppressing depression

“But I thought that was just a phase, you know, teen angst!”

On moments of clarity

It would be nice if some of her great epiphanies were a little less contradictory.

On abandonment issues

(Noun.) See ‘separation anxiety’. The urge to hyperventilate when thinking about people in close proximity leaving/dying/not giving a damn. Triggered by people in close proximity leaving/dying/not giving a damn or thinking about people in close
proximity possibly leaving/dying/not giving a damn. 
Mostly nocturnal.
Can like most problems be blamed on childhood/parenting.
Rarely seen amongst hermits/rocks/wood/robotic equipment.

On plans in case

For the first time in years, she didn’t have a Plan B. It was probably a good sign, a sign of things falling into place or something. But still, you must always have an exit, right? She had to find an exit, just in case. She had to.

On genetics

Her mother was wonderful in so many ways, so why was it
that she had only passed on her bad genes?