fragmentary biography

Month: July, 2013

On the beginning

It’s like you’re given this very fine glass made of the most precious crystal and then told not to break it, and all you can think is “don’t break it, don’t break it, don’t break it” until you’re so stressed out about it that all you want to do is to break it right away just to get it over and done with.

On alpha males and movie stars

At the end of the day, though, all you want is the one that makes you smile.

On sending a message

When the best part of your day is a text message telling you to hurry up and come home. That’s when you know that this, this could actually really be something.

On new agony

This whole “does he like me, what are we doing, could this be for real, what happens next, will I fuck this up”. That’s what makes people become hermits and run for the jungle or seek refuge on a deserted island and things like that.

On explanations

She tried to explain that it was because her parents had been miserable and there had been this huge fight with her grandfather and that she’d had to pack up and move away from the only place she’d ever felt really safe at and that the guy she sort of loved had had a baby with someone else and that she was terrified by the thought that everything has to end and that everybody will eventually leave but it was so hard to find the right words so she just settled for “I have a thing about intimacy”.

On silent contempt

What her parents never fully got was that their silence was a lot scarier than those angry words. Contempt is much harder to bear than hatred.

On happenings

Like that summer when you were seventeen and had your first job and went out with your much older colleagues and got kissed on the neck by some guy named Franco who was at least twenty-five and you could just feel it, you could just feel your whole life happening, right then and there.

On having it in the bag

The real estate agent put the binder in a white paper bag and handed it over to her.
“Good luck with the new apartment!” he said gaily.
Funny thing, to carry your home in a bag.

On science

So how come they make smartphones and spaceships and shit like that, and there’s still no machine to figure out what the person next to you is really thinking?

On instructions, part 3

To men who think you’re all that: not all women like to be hugged by complete strangers. Some females actually prefer the traditional handshake, instead of having your half-erected genitals pressed against their belly buttons.