fragmentary biography

Month: June, 2013

On conversation

The world is probably full of people who don’t know what to say to each other either.

On candy

You’re like “When I grow up I’ll do anything I damn please! Yeah, I’ll have candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day!” Then you grow up and realize that all that candy will make you fat and unfuckable and it’s totally unfair,
the way they’ve designed it.

On revelations

“You know how some people are afraid of being revealed, or whatever? You know, that other people will eventually see right through them and call their bluff?”
“Yeah, exactly! That they’re gonna see who you really are and realize
that you’re not all that!”
“Yes! That’s what I mean! Well, I’ve never felt like that.”
“Oh.”

On funerals

 One’s supposed to walk up to the coffin and stare at it for a couple of minutes before leaving a rose or something on top of it. She knew she was meant to say her goodbyes and deep shit like that, but all she could think was “for how long are we gonna stand around here?”

On core shakers

Her best friend looked closely at the picture: “I don’t know,
he looks just like an ordinary guy to me.”

On men

They should make ’em with subtitles, that’s what they should.

On complications

You try to keep it simple, try to not fuck things up too much,
but then some sweet, sexy complication comes by…

On rejection

Inventing a fake boyfriend just seemed more humane than telling him the truth:
that there was no chance in hell she would ever have sex with the guy.

On when grandma died

They’ve given him a brochure: “What do I do now?”.
“Here she is” he says, but she’s not.
Grandpa’s tears are the hardest part.