fragmentary biography

Month: November, 2012

On little girls

Lady, one quick glimpse into my dark, dirty mind and you would not call me
“little girl” no more, she thought, smiled politely.

Advertisements

On mismatch

“At first, you look all sweet and innocent, but then you open your mouth…”
“I know, my vocabulary does not match my baby face.┬áIt’s a curse and a blessing.”

On exits

What bothered her was that her father had needed another woman to get out of his crappy marriage. It was just so predictable.

On headaches

Her father looked at them with pleading eyes.
“You see, it’s just not worth the headache any more.”
Her mother the headache sat quiet on her chair.

On now

Now he was all “how are you, how’s work, what are your plans for the holidays?”
“Go fuck yourself” she didn’t say, but then again, she didn’t say
“come fuck me” either.

On irony

It so ironic, that they call it a drinking problem. She watched her mom’s beau pour himself another glass of wine. Clearly, he had no problem whatsoever gulping that liquid down his throat.

On Southern comfort

As long as you add “bless her heart” after every insult, you will still make it to heaven.

On middle-aged men

Boring, balding, big-boned as they may be, they’re so very sure they’ve got it still.
Fascinating, really.

On compensation

“Hey, it’s Life. Listen, I know I’ve been a real bitch recently, so I thought this time, I’d just give you exactly what you want. You know, to compensate.”

On Christmas and divorce

As a direct result of the divorce, she was now expected to make definite and well-balanced plans for Christmas around July. The conception that divorced parents generate more presents had unfortunately turned out to be something of a myth, though.