fragmentary biography

Month: May, 2012

On but(t)s

She really wanted it to be Britney Spears circa 2003, but the butt wanted differently.

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On perspective

It could have been worse. She could have been a street child. In Romania. Been sniffing glue in some smelly sewer. Yes, glue sniffing street child in Romania would definitely have been a lot worse.

On theories

In theory, her theory was that love was just another theory.

On heartbreak

The hardest part was not to move on, the hardest part was to leave behind.

On wishing

She really wished she had been more of a slut. Now would have been an excellent time to go out and bang everything that moved.

On babies

You never think about how many babies there are in this world until the person you thought was yours tells you he’s having one with a woman who’s not you.

On pathetic

Together they had come up with this great master plan of how they would take a picture of her where she looked absolutely smashing and successful and then post it on Facebook. Then he would see it and be sorry. Unfortunately, though, no matter how hard they tried she just looked fat and boring so the whole thing kind of fell through.

On procrastination

If it is so damn bad, how come they’ve designed it so sweet?

On homelessness

Fragrant beggars probably did a lot better than the more smelly ones. 

On unfairness

The man had wet himself and the stench formed an unpleasant cloud around him as he limped by, bow-legged and bent. They quickly left the café and discussed the unfairness of life for a whole block.