fragmentary biography

Month: March, 2012

On what women want

Her friend sighed. “All I want is a man who knows how to build a porch. Is that too much to ask?”  

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On diplomacy

Since she knew her father would be angry with her mother if she spent too much money, she tried to make her mother hold on to her coins, which of course in turn made her mother angry with her for interfering, which at least was better than her parents being angry with each other.

On ones

If everyone’s unique, does that mean that no one really fits in?

On scoring

Her brother had only been given 2 points on the Apgar score. She gave him 10 points for not giving a damn about other people’s opinions.

On envy

She flipped through some old pictures from the 70’s and it bothered her that it bothered her that her mother had been prettier than her.

On the present

Everybody tells you to live now and not in the past. But what if now is a real motherfucker?

On birthdays

For the first time in eight years, he had forgotten about her birthday. Or maybe he had just stopped caring.

On acting

She really loved job interviews. For an hour or so, it was perfectly fine to at least act as if you knew exactly what you were doing.

On dogs

Like with most dogs, The Great Dane is adorable until he bites you in the ass.

On phones

The silence was deafening.