fragmentary biography

On shiny happy people

Keep in mind, though, that there’s really no way of telling who will go home happy and who will get off at the nearest exit and cry until choking. 

On running the marathon

These days it’s all about endurance. But if going the distance leaves you desperately gasping for air, is taking a short cut really that bad?

On fish in the sea

“I think I’m a sports fish” her friend said, concerned look on her face. “You know, when men go fishing they either keep the fish to take home or they just put their hook in it, reel it in and then throw it back in the water again. A sports fish.”
They sat in silent contemplation.

“I might be a sports fish too.”

On trauma counselling

When it comes to break ups, people are all “You should start dating again! Mingle!”. It’s like giving a big box of matches to a burn victim, suggesting a nice little bonfire might help to ease the pain. Just fuck someone else and you’re golden, right.

On losing the who cares-game

“You can’t let him win!” they would say. As if it was a competition.

On lifetimes

Sometimes, life is just days to get through.

On morning makeup routine

Clench your jaw, dry your eye, bite your tongue, squeeze your fist. Repeat.

On television torment and real drama

Tormented people on television are always real pretty, even when they’re crying. And they get saved from the rain by some wholesome but sexy firefighter who also happens to be a secret millionaire. There might be a silver lining to real drama too, but it’s usually a lot less shiny.

On the ugly truth

If you have a lower tolerance for ugly people’s problems than you do for those of the more beautiful, does that mean you are a bad person or simply that you are damaged from watching too much TV? 

On knowing what’s best (for others)

The woman was going on and on about her boyfriend and his anger problems and her own abandonment issues and she just wanted to go over there, grab her by the shirt and yell at her face: “Lady, he’s never gonna change, you both clearly need therapy, so please shut up about your stupid relationship and get your ass up and leave him, you freakin loser!” But instead, she put on her sunglasses and tried to close her ears, thinking that people are just so lame. They have the lamest problems.

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